Johnny Rocks
Private Photos
I'm always busy and on the move.
Look at this whopper of
a Thunder Egg.
I had to sit down with this
A humongous Crystal, its
a bloody beauty mate!
Checkout me Agate
slab. Its not as good
as a slab of beer
Just walk'n this
chunk of Jasper
back to the car.
Holey stalactites!
Checkout me
Gypsum crystals.
Thunder Egg in half.
Not much color but.
This piece of Amethyst
is pretty average. I'll
stick it in the rock
Do ya like me chunk
of Chrysoprase?
Crystals like this don't
grow on trees!
Click on my pictures if you want a better look at me!
Deep in the mysterious hidden rain forests of New South
tree so I thought I’d stop for a snack and get me some.
A man’s gotta eat!
Don't do this at home kids it's pretty dangerous!
Stick around and you can hear some of my original songs soon!
Came up pretty well after a bit
of a polish don't ya think? It
might be just the piece for the
right girl?
Ladies take your eyes off
me for a second and have
a look at my jewels.
Ladies please don't
write to me and say my
flys undone cause you
know its just made of
Check out my Agates!
I've got sacks of
these 10 x 7mm what
I call fly shit topaz.
Excuse the French
I've got some of
the biggest Topaz
you'll ever see!
And the biggest
Citrine as well.
You caught me in a
weak moment here
wearing this silver
chain. Real men like me
don't usually wear this
sort of stuff!
If you want to buy
some of my gems you'll
need to
Hey a man's gotta eat!
Checkout me balls.
Hey! Turn off that bloody
camera! There's no privacy
in this world.
On a recent trip to the Queensland
hinterland while searching for the
elusive Topaz I encountered a giant
killer man eating Koala Bear. A fight
ensued and I managed to fight him off
was only left with a scar on my face as
you can see in the close up shot
The scar can clearly
be seen to this day.
A still shot before the
fight started. You can
see he meant business
right from word go.
Because I'm so popular as Johnny Rocks I've had to change my
appearance and stage name to Johnny B. Fans just simply wont leave
me alone and soon as they hear the name Johnny Rocks they're all over
me and want to hear all about my exploits. So now when I perform I take
off the beard and go under cover hoping no one ever discovers who I
wherever I go, so now the disguise and little deception has to take place.
I ride him through the bush and rain
forest areas of Australia.
I've got a special mineral bag I hang
round his neck when we're out fossicking.
I found Rupert as an orphan when his
mum was hit by a B-Double truck.
Here I am just at the
top of this old volcano
looking for thunder
Just getting back on
my Harley after a days
ride with the mates.
My former
secret agent
stuff but now
I'm an
I found this hidden
Amethyst Cavern in the
deepest parts of the
Queensland hinterland.
This is my throne of crystals.
Rupert the Roo doesn't like
strangers very much and he
tends to get a bit jumpy.
After a hard day of digging
for gemstones I like to down
the odd beer.
That mongrel of a photographer
took this picture after I had a fall.
I swear I didn't drink much!
And I never spilt a drop of beer.
Johnny Rocks is the ultimate real life
rockhound adventurer!
Snakes are fine as
long as you give'm
their space!
Here I am taking on this old croc
in Queensland. You just can't
swim everywhere in Australia!
This fearsome beast is a
Tasmanian Devil. I decided to
pass him by while searching for
Crocoite in Tasmania.  
I had to chill out for a while after
finding this huge black Tourmaline
Crystal in Queensland.
I had to move this chunk
bit by bit cause it was so
This small piece of
Malachite might
make a nice tie pin
when polished up.
Here I am sieving for Topaz at
O'Briens Creek in Queensland.
Rupert the Roo!
few of these places and I’d thought I’d
share a few of the place names with you:
Up to Wagga Wagga then through
Wantabadgery then through Bethungra,
Cootamundra and up through
Murrumburrah and Wallendeen up to
Koorawatha. Then on to Gooloogong
and Canowindra then over to Eugowra
over to Bedgerebong and Yarrabandai
and to Condoblin. Just a few places in
the space of a couple hundred miles.
Australian place names can be a bit of
a mouth full don’t you think?
Life's Views By Johnny Rocks

Well I live and was bought up tough in the bush outback behind the black stump.
I’ve never had much time for those polly whackers because they cant lie straight
in bed and they all seem like a bunch of bludgers. Lets face it. Year after year we
they still cant get it right. How hard could it be to provide better roads, education,
employment, health and a more sustainable environment? I’m sure they’re all a
pack of bitzers that can only provide band aides rather than any cures. Its not like
we're not paying for it! Our tax buck stops with them and they can’t even spend
that right! A pack of wankers the lot of them. They're like a bunch of amateur
plumbers trying to seal up a leaky pipe with a bit of tape. Well that’s my view on
those bludgers anyway. Polly’s always think a hundred years behind rather than a
hundred years ahead. I’ll stick to look’n for rocks at least they can’t rip me off.
Johnny Rocks In Amsterdam
after visiting the Diamond
I couldn't resist this windmill climb in
Alkmaar, Holland.
I climbed it just before dark so I
wouldn't offend those wild Dutchmen.
See if you can spot me here at the
Waterport in Sneek, Friesland,
Here I am freezing my rocks off in Sneek,
Friesland walking over the thin ice.
Don't try this kids its very dangerous!
After this rock climb I stopped for
a rest on the summit.
If you want to hear me sing
Click Here!  Johnny B is
my stage name.
Here I am digging an opal mine at
White Cliffs. But as you see I
struck problems with pesky giant
black ants.
If I strike the odd boulder I just boot
the crap out of them like a real man.
Driving the Landcruiser with the
caravan in tow.
The Adventures Of Johnny Rocks

Job: Retired Special Agent.
Age: Very good for my age.
Country of origin:- Australia.

Hobbies and Interests:-

Rock collector.
Metal detecting.
Only collects the biggest specimens.
I'll take on any adventure.
A real man's man.
Real life hero.
Will try anything once.
Singing Songs.


I hate ants because they crawl up my
legs a lot while filming.
Drooling women and gold diggers.


I only wear real men's clothes.
I have a velcro fly because I can't get
zippers the right size for my pants.

Sexual Persuasion:-

I'm still looking for the right woman.